Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
Randomize
