dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
Randomize
