my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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