A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
