I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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