hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
Randomize
