He is such a slut. More and more my type.
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
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