I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
