His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
Randomize
