Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
Randomize
