I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
