Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
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