LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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