2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
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