And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
Randomize
