i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
Randomize
