Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
