then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
