I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
