capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
