i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
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