why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
Are we still banned from the library?
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize
