Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
Who died my cat blue again?
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
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