why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
Randomize
