4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
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