I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
