absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Randomize
