is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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