Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
Help me help you realize you are a moron
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Randomize
