She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Randomize
