Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
Randomize
