puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Randomize