um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
