they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
Randomize
