I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
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