Need sex. Gaining weight.
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
Randomize
