hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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