I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
Randomize
