i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
