lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
He uses pillows to masturbate.
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Randomize
