You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
