Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
Randomize
