How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
Randomize
