East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
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