You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
How does one acquire holy water?
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Randomize
