Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Randomize
