sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
i think we sleep fucked last night...
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