whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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