He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Randomize
