from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
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