I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize
